


what do you want me to say?

by shhhhyoursister



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: M/M, hans is the only valid person to give david this talk, i also love writing flustered!david, i just love writing.....david
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 07:30:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19807582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shhhhyoursister/pseuds/shhhhyoursister
Summary: Hans gives Davidthe talk.





	what do you want me to say?

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a lil short thing thats been in my head cause i love hans and i love the idea of him being like "oh god now im the guardian of a dumb little gay boy with a boyfriend i need to make sure theyre safe and dont hurt each other cause teen boys are dumb"
> 
> title from "edward 40hands" by mom jeans
> 
> enjoy <3

Obviously, David knew Matteo had flatmates. 

The first time they had hung out together, Matteo had called out a  _ hello? _ to make sure they were alone, and David noticed the names in the fridge and the decor that didn’t quite seem to fit the aesthetic that David had tried to pick up on from the short amount of time he had spent with Matteo. It was obvious he had flatmates.

He doesn’t know why it’s so  _ shocking _ , then, when he leaves Matteo’s room the first morning after  _ certain activities _ had taken place in Matteo’s flat, and sees Hans sitting at the table, wearing an ornate robe and fixing David with a smug look.

Before leaving Matteo’s room, David had quietly thrown on the pants he had arrived there in the night before, his joggers sagging slightly, and had (without asking, which he felt a tiny bit bad about but not much) grabbed a shirt off of a chair in Matteo’s room, inhaling the scent before pulling it on over his binder. 

He stops when he sees Hans, literally freezing in the entrance to the kitchen, a little wide-eyed at the look being sent in his direction. He runs a hand through his hair, trying to fix what was absolutely a tangled mess, and clears his throat before offering a quiet, “Oh. Hey.”

Instead of responding, Hans hums, smirk growing bigger before he sips his coffee. He puts the mug down, placing his hands on the table, clasping them together like he’s a parental figure and it’s time for him and David to have an  _ important chat _ . 

David shifts a little uncomfortably, before trying again with, “Good morning?”

Hans smiles, before saying simply, “You’re David.”

“Uh, yeah. Last time I checked.” David smiles a little when Hans snorts.

“So you’re the guy my little butterfly has been obsessing over for weeks.”

David blushes, shoving his hands in his pockets, not quite knowing how to respond to multiple different parts of that statement, his brain finally deciding on spitting out a quiet, “Butterfly?”

Hans sips his coffee again, before patting the chair next to him. David hesitates, before walking over and sitting down carefully next to Hans, not wanting to be more forward after already invading his home without permission. 

Hans nudges his chin in the direction of Matteo’s room before saying,“Your boy in there. I call him butterfly, the boys call him Luigi, boring people call him Matteo. How about you?”

David tilts his head, thinking for a moment, before saying, “I guess… I just call him Matteo.”

Hans raises his eyebrows, “I didn’t peg you as a boring person.”

“Apparently I’m not, if Matteo has spent weeks obsessing over me.”

Hans laughs, before getting up and gesturing to the coffee pot, getting a new mug out when David replies with a stuttered, “Oh, uh. Yeah. Sure. Thank you.”

“Cream? Sugar?”

“Um, black is fine, thanks.”

  
“Boring it is, then.” 

David smiles bigger, starting to pick up on the bantering nature of the conversation. Hans pours him the coffee, handing it over with a softer smile before taking his seat again. He looks up at David, lets him take a sip, and then decisively says, “So.”

David raises his eyebrows, not expecting an actual conversation with his very new boyfriend’s flatmate very early in the morning. He had just woken up to get some water, not intending to sit down and have coffee with his Matteo’s surprise flatmate who wasn’t actually a surprise.

“Yes?”

“Currently, I am the closest thing Matteo has to a father or older sibling. Don’t tell him I said that, but it’s true.”

David smiles, not quite understanding what Hans was getting at, “Okay?”

“So, being in this role, there is a conversation that I need to have with you, being as you are the new boyfriend of my child slash brother.”

David’s smile falters slightly, finally picking up on what Hans is trying to do. He chuckles once, more out of nerves than anything, before nodding and prompting Hans with, “Well, it is in your job description.”

Hans smiles, before reaching out and placing a gentle hand on David’s arm. He wasn’t expecting it, didn’t usually love people who were basically strangers touching him, but he could sense the love and warmth coming from Hans, despite his quick and witty exterior.

“If Matteo is an asshole, please come tell me. I can deal with him.”

David sputters, laughing hard for a second before getting out a choked, “Wait,  _ what _ ?”

“I’m serious, David. I know that I may not look the toughest, but I promise, under all this glamor and elegance, there is a man who is willing to scream at a teenage boy for being fucking stupid.”

David laughs again, putting his face in his hands and running them up through his hair before looking at Hans.

“I don’t- I think I’m missing something. Aren’t you supposed to be telling me that if I ever do anything to hurt him you’ll beat me up, or kill me, or scare me away or something?”

Hans rolls his eyes, “I was  _ getting _ to that, but you need to hear this first. Matteo is a very sweet boy. He is also really annoying. I love him to death, but sometimes I wish I could  _ something else _ him to death, if you catch my drift.”

David nods, “Yes. Caught.”

Hans smirks again, before continuing, “Make sure he treats you well. Make him cook for you sometimes, he’s actually pretty good at it. And yeah, if you ever do anything to even slightly upset him you can expect to find me and the boys on your doorstep.”

“I’ll warn my sister in advance if I decide to do something stupid like that.” His response made Hans smile in a much warmer way, his hand patting David on the arm twice. 

“Matteo was right, you do have a nice smile.”

David blushes a dark red, not even wanting to know the origins of  _ that _ conversation, before stuttering through a quiet, “Oh, uh, thanks. You do too.”

Hans grins, “You’re sweet. I like you.”

David grins back, looking down at the table as Hans gets up, grabbing David’s empty mug, putting it in the sink along with his own. He turns again, facing David with a questioning look.

“Should I… do you want breakfast? I’m not a great cook but I could try to whip something up!”

“Oh, um, I was actually planning to- “ He’s interrupted by the sound of a door slowly opening, and soft footsteps echo through the flat. They both turned to watch as Matteo walks into the kitchen in David’s gray sweater and his own boxers, stopping short when he notices that it isn’t just David waiting for him, forgetting about his own flatmate momentarily.

When it registers, Matteo groans, turning to face Hans, “Fuck, what did you say to him?”

“ _ Moi _ ? I said nothing bad, Butterfly, why would you even accuse me of that?”

“Because when I told you I liked a boy your first thought was to go out and buy me lube.” Matteo was mumbling, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes as David huffed out a laugh, his eyes widening.

“Did that actually happen?”

“As the first out gay man that Matteo chose to trust and confide in, I figured it was my job to make sure he was being safe!”

“We  _ are _ being safe.” Matteo muttered as he made his way over to David, dropping his head heavily onto David’s shoulder. The position made the small hickey on Matteo’s neck peek out from the collar of the sweater, and Hans smirked when he saw it. 

“Oh yes, that brings me to my next point. Matteo, David, I’m so happy that you’re happy, but I do  _ not _ need to hear when you two are doing whatever it was that made Matteo that loud. Feel free to fuck, but please be respectful.”

David gasped and blushed as Matteo groaned out, “Hans shut the fuck up,  _ please _ .”

Hans glared, his hand slapping onto his heart in mock anger, “How  _ dare _ you speak to your father slash brother like that!”

David snorted at the confused look that crossed Matteo’s face before he shook his head, accidentally whacking David in the face with his hair.

“Hans, what- no. I don’t care. David, can we please go back to bed, I’m begging you.” He was nuzzling his face into David’s shoulder, and David placed a quick kiss to the top of his head before replying with a quiet smile, “Of course we can.”

Matteo grabbed his hand, yanking him out of the chair and in the direction of the bedroom as Hans called loudly from the kitchen, “Matteo, I  _ love _ him! Keep him around, he’s funnier than you!”

David grinned, waving in the direction of the yell, before allowing himself to be dragged back into the room and back into the warmth of the bed. As Matteo wrapped around him again, he suddenly remembered that he hadn’t even gotten water, and that he was now pretty awake from the coffee.

After lying quietly for a few moments, Matteo sleepily turned his face up to David, opening one eye.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Uh, Hans made me coffee and I didn’t want to be rude.”

“He’s rude.”

“No, he’s sweet. He gave me  _ the talk _ .”

Matteo whined quietly, rubbing his face into David’s chest before mumbling, “Did he try to give  _ you _ lube, too?”

David laughed, “No, oh my god, not  _ that _ kind of talk. More of the  _ if you do anything to hurt him I’ll hunt you down and kill you _ kind of talk.”

Matteo snorted, “As if he could do any damage to  _ you _ , Mr. Advanced P.E.”

“I don’t know, he sounded kind of serious. He said he’d recruit the boys.”

Matteo patted his chest comfortingly, “You could take them all, I promise.”

“Well, it doesn’t really matter. I’m not planning on being anything less than a gentleman with you.”

“I wouldn’t say that you were much of a gentleman last night.” David could hear the smirk in Matteo’s voice, and slapped his shoulder with a shocked laugh. 

“Shut  _ up _ , oh my god.”

“Hey, don’t hit me, I’ll tell Hans!”

David smirked before rolling Matteo onto his back, straddling his hips and holding his arms down before Matteo could even blink.

“What? Gonna run and tell Hans now?”

Matteo gulped, before smartly responding, “I can’t really do that with you on top of me.”

“Aw, I thought you liked it when I’m on top of you.”

“Never said I didn’t.”

David smiled, before bending down and pressing a soft kiss to Matteo’s lips. Matteo kissed back, sleepily moving his lips against David’s before David pulled away quickly, grinning again.

“There was a part of the conversation I didn’t mention.”

Matteo groaned quietly, shoving David off of him so he could curl up against his side, “Oh god, what else did he say?”

“That you’re an asshole and I should tell him if you’re mean to me.”

Matteo huffed, slapping David’s chest. “I’m not an asshole, what the fuck is he on about.”

“I don’t know, dude. Good to know though, in case it comes up. I think you’re pretty okay.”

Matteo took a minute, but then chuckled into David’s chest, responding with a quiet, “Pretty okay, huh?”

“Nah,” David said, leaning down to kiss Matteo’s hair, “the best.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i love hans and i love david and i love matteo and im so happy i got this story written and its exactly what i wanted
> 
> again im shhhhyoursister here and on tumblr feel free to message/prompt me or not!!!
> 
> be well <3


End file.
